Depending on who you ask, aliens have either 1) frequently visited our planet, 2) never visited our planet, or 3) are currently running our planet. 

It’s been quite a year for Unidentified Flying Objects, which are now called Unidentified Aerial Phenomena. (Tomayto, tomahto.) These “extraterrestrial” vessels made the news, created a TikTok channel and had their own congressional hearing. 

In early 2023, the Air Force started blasting weather balloons out of the sky. Although weather balloons have been used since 1896, it’s only in the last year the balloons became malicious enough to be shot down. It’s definitely American to shoot first and never ask questions.

It reminds me of the 1978 video game Space Invaders, where the goal was to blast UFOs out of the atmosphere before they reached Earth. Whether the current UAPs were peace emissaries from Alpha Centauri or galactic multi-level-marketing sales-aliens, we’ll never know.

Look at it this way. If you launched a celebratory lightspeed rocket on the day Jesus was born, it would still be in the Milky Way Galaxy, even traveling for 2,000 years at the speed of light. So if a flying saucer made its way across its galaxy and our galaxy, it would take hundreds of thousands of light years to reach us, only to be casually shot down by an F-22.

Maybe they were on their way to teach us how to travel at lightspeed, how to create a functional Congress or how to evolve so our skin glows in the dark. We’ll never know. 

UFO sightings occur all over the world, but the U.S. has the most interaction with aliens. The Roswell crash in 1947 was the first “flying saucer” wreckage that authorities said was a UFO, then it was a weather balloon, then it was Carl’s tractor from down the road and then it was the remnants of an atomic test, which didn’t make anyone feel better.

Air Force pilots share stories of strange objects in the sky, security cameras capture “meteors” and eerie lights, and there was a congressional hearing to talk about what the government isn’t telling us. Spoiler alert: the government keeps a lot of secrets. 

Many people are convinced the pyramids were built with alien technology. Some people think UFOs travel the world making intricate designs in crops, kind of like alien graffiti. Others point out the first microchip was created just 10 years after the Roswell crash. Coincidence? Hmmmm.

Records from Rome (AD 65)  and Ireland (AD 740) document chariots flying through the clouds or ships floating in the air, filled with people. Too bad there wasn’t an F-22 to shoot them down. 

“War of the Worlds” by H.G. Wells was written in the late 1890s. It was one of the first novels that detailed an alien invasion on Earth. People lost their minds when Orson Welles dramatized it on a 1938 radio show.

I’m not saying UFOs are real. I’m not saying they’re not. But sightings have increased, usually in the form of an orb, a disc, a triangle, a cylinder, an egg, a toaster, a VW Bug or other random shapes.

I’ve been saying for years that Earth is a hit reality show in the universe and little green men (or blue or white or gray) watch the hilarious antics on our dumpster fire of a planet while eating alien popcorn.

It’s pretty egocentric of us to think we’re the only planet with intelligent life. And I use the word “intelligent” lightly. I hope somewhere in the universe there’s a planet where the inhabitants live in peace and work together to create new ideas. I just hope they don’t come here. We’ll shoot them out of the sky.λ